When someone lies to you but you already know the truth

(via wacotaco)


benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

(via ferqa-licious)


Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.


  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

(via old-grandma-death)


I don’t mean to interrupt people I just randomly remember things and get really excited I’m sorry

(Source: free-booty, via phobias)


So my mom tells me shes going to the gym so im like WHOOH I GET THE HOUSE TO MYSELF I CAN WALK AROUND IN MY UNDERWEAR HECK YEAH!! so im strutting around doing a makeshift fashion show catwalk and all of a sudden I hear DANA PUT ON YOUR CLOTHES and I literally take the longest walk of shame back to my room because turns out my mom forgot her towel and ended walking in on my undie parade


Imagine if your follower count turned into money

(via whiteboyfriend)


No sympathy for rapists, no sympathy for abusers, no sympathy for those who side with them. No excuses for their behavior, no justifications, no exceptions.

(via bellefir-e)